Chapter 31

Sorry again about the wait for the chapter. I am still recovering from the flu but I am on the mend. I never figured out how to post the picture of my scan onto blogger. If you wants to see it let me know and I will see what I can figure out.

Anyway, the wait is over. Enjoy folks and thanks again for the comments and support.

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I looked up when I heard the door open to see Tyler come in. I didn’t have the energy to tell him to go away. He said something to someone outside the room but I didn’t hear what it was and then he came over after closing the door and put his hand on my shoulder. Instinctively I pulled away from his touch.

“Don’t touch me Tyler” I growled back at him, my voice hoarse from crying, I moved further along the wall so he decided to sit down a couple of metres away from me.

“I miss you Gill.” He said softly breaking the icy silence.

I eventually turn my head to look at him, tears still flowing from my eyes.

“What do you want me to say Tyler? You broke my heart and I can’t stop feeling the pain, it just won’t go away and I want to hate you for it.” My voice was soft and calm, my mind racing a million miles an hour.

“I am sorry Gill for making you feel the way you do, if it is any conciliation I am hurting as well.” His eyes were finally full of emotion, I could see the pain, the love, and the want, so many mixed emotions that I knew he wanted to put into words.

I let out a little laugh. “You brought this on yourself Tyler, you finished with me remember and as far as I am aware I never did anything to initiate it.” I stood up and starting pacing the room. I had so many emotions running through me, I wanted to shout and scream at him, I wanted to hate him but most of all I wanted to hold him close to me and feel his strong arms around me again, to that feel safe secure feeling that always came over me when I was in his company.

“I know this is all my fault Gill, I take full responsibility for this but I want you to know how sorry I am and I want to make things right, I want you to love me again and trust me enough to let me back in your life. I want you back and I will do everything I can to make that happen.” His voice was pleading, evidently full of pain.

“Do you think I don’t love you any more?” I snapped at him, my voice getting louder. “I have never stopped loving you and have never stopped thinking about you. I miss you like crazy and I want nothing more than to hold you and tell you that everything is ok, that we can try again but it is not that easy. I can’t just forget the pain you have caused me. I can’t forgive you for it.”

I sat down on one of the large window sills looking out at the night, darkness was beginning to fall and people were starting to go home from work, the car parks busy with people desperate to get away from their working life.

“You know the one thing I hate about living in the city Tyler? I hate not being able to see the stars. I grew up in a little town on the coast and I was always going down to the beach and watching the stars. I would sit there for hours lost in my own world. It was always the one place that I could go that would allow me to forget my problems. I don’t know if you have ever been out to my out house at the bottom of my garden?” I turned to look at him and he shook his head no. His eyes are red from crying and his curly hair wild from running his hands through it.

“Well it has a glass roof so that I can relax and watch the stars, I make sure that there are no outside lights on so that you get a good view. I have only ever once seen a shooting star and I was amazed, hopefully one day my wish will come true. Do you like the stars Tyler?” I looked back at him again.

“Yeah, but I have never really seen them properly, I have always lived in the city.

“I love the snow though. It makes me feel like a child again.” His eyes were beginning to look hopefully that maybe this conversation meant that we had made a break through.

“Maybe I can show you the stars sometime.

“I too like the snow, it is beautiful to watch, very relaxing.”

We sat in silence again for what felt like an eternity but was only a few moments when there was a faint knock at the door.

“Come in” I said loudly as I turned to the door. It was Ray and Mario.

“Sorry kids” Mario started “but they are about to lock up the arena.” He always called us all kids just like Don Cherry does on Hockey Night in Canada. I sometimes think he actually does think of us all as his children. He would do anything for each and every one of us especially Sid.

“Ok, just give me 5 minutes to gather my things together, sorry if we have been disruptive.” I answered.

“Don’t worry as long as everything is ok. Let me give you a hand down to your car with your bags.” Mario continued.

The 3 guys grabbed a couple of bags each and I locked up the room behind us and followed them down to my car. Mario slowed down and started walking next to me.

“Are you ok Gill?” He asked quietly so that Tyler did not hear but loud enough for me to hold a conversation with him.

“Yeah, I am alright thanks Mario.” I answer giving him a small pat on the back so that he knows I appreciate his concern.

“I am just going to say one thing to you,” he says in his soft fatherly tone as he stops to look at me. “Follow your heart and do what is going to make you happy in the long run, don’t worry about what anyone else has to say just do what is best for you and if that means getting back together with Tyler and trusting him then that is what you need to do. Live for today as you never know what tomorrow will bring.”

I leaned in and gave him a small hug.

“Thanks Mario.”

We said nothing further until we reached the car. I unlocked it allowing the guys to put my stuff in the back.

“Thanks guys, see you all soon.”

Ray and Mario walked off leaving Tyler and I alone again.

“Can we talk some more Gill please, maybe at your house?” He asks avoiding eye contact with me.

“I don’t know, I don’t think I can take any more arguing.”

He looks up at me, his eyes saying so much as I spend a few moments just staring back at him.

“Ok, you can come up for a while but I am still not making any promises. Can you go past the take away on your way, I can’t be bothered cooking.”

I turned away without waiting for an answer and got in my car and began to drive home unsure of what to expect of the night ahead of me.