Sorry for the long wait folks but the wait is now over, hope the chapter was worth the wait...?
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I awoke the next morning still wrapped in Tylers arms and I actually felt refreshed after a very good nights sleep. I managed to get out of his arms without waking him and went for my morning run, when I returned and went to my room to go for a shower Tyler was awake.
“Morning hunny, did you sleep well?” He smiles as he lies on his back, the sheets sitting just above his waist band.
The butterflies in my tummy danced and I got shivers down my spine hearing him call me hunny again. It was a feeling that I had not felt since before he went to Sweden.
‘I still have no idea what to do, should I trust my instinct and get back with him?’
“Good Morning. I slept well thanks and you? Do you want to come for a swim?” I asked as I tried so hard not to stare at him, he looked amazing and I just wanted to lie back down beside, hold him close and tell him everything was ok.
“I had a great sleep thanks. Yeah I will come with you, I have been practising so I should be able to keep up with you now.” He smiles at me as he gets up leaning in to give me a kiss on his way past but I turned away.
I showered quickly and headed down to the pool making a start to my normal routine when Tyler came and joined me. It was clear that he had been practising and was looking much stronger in his swimming but he still stopped at about 70 lengths.
“What do you want for breakfast?” I ask him as I climb out of the water making sure not to make eye contact with him.
“Can I have some bacon and eggs etc. please? I will help to make it.” He asks climbing out of the pool and moving to put his arms around me but I quickly move before he gets the chance too.
‘I know I can’t avoid this forever.’
I went for a shower and left it on for Tyler to go in after me, although I have more shower in the house that is really the only one that is used and like me Tyler likes the water to be scalding hot.
Making a start on breakfast I think to myself about what I want to do knowing that I can’t lead Tyler on any longer. I must have got lost in my thought because before I knew what was happening Tylers arms were around my waist and he was holding me close to him. I could feel his strong chest against my back, his heart beating fast and the warmth of his breath on my face. Those butterflies insisted on dancing even though I prayed they wouldn’t.
“Let go Tyler” I warned him.
“No Gill it is about time you stopped running from me.” He turned me round to face him and switched the cooker off removing the pans from the hot hobs.
“I love you with all my heart and I am so sorry for all the hurt that I have caused and I have told you that I will make it up to you somehow.
“What else do you want me to say Gill. I am not going to get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness, I know I was wrong and I admit that but I am not going to keep saying it…”
His voice was raised and his eyes were red from anger but I still could not find the right words to say so I just lowered my head and continued to say nothing.
“That’s it Gill, I have had enough.”
He stormed off and instead of leaving like I expected him to he went up the stairs. I sat down on the floor and cried, I must have sat there for about half an hour holding my knees to my chest and he was still up there so I decided to go and see what he was doing and try to talk to him.
“What are you doing Tyler?” I ask as I enter my bedroom to find him looking out some of his clothes and other items that he still had here.
“I am getting my things together Gill, I can’t take this any more. I am hurting too you know. I thought last night that we had made a breakthrough but now you are throwing it back in my face and I can’t handle it.” His eyes were red from anger and I knew that the pain he was feeling was too much to bear.
I sat down beside him on the floor and held his face in my hands knowing that I could not let this continue any longer.
“Please don’t leave Tyler, I love you more than words could possibly explain and I can’t face life without you in it.
“Before I met you I was so independent, I didn’t need anyone in my life but I let you in and I got used to having you with me. Since the day you left me I have felt empty, as if someone had torn my heart out and left it to rot. I can’t feel like that forever more. Please come back to me again Tyler, I am so sorry.”
He sat in silence for a moment looking into my eyes searching for emotions and the truth about my feelings.
“I love you Tyler, please let’s try and make this work.” I said again as if trying to reassure him.
“Oh Gill, I love you too, I know we can get through this. I am so very sorry, I promise to never ever do that to you again, I promise I will never hurt you.” He leaned in pulling me into a big hug, we held each other so close enjoying the feeling of each other again. I took a deep breath and exhaled allowing my body to relax into him.
Finally we pulled away and looked at each other again, I could see he was unsure of what to do so I leaned in and kissed him deeply on the lips, my tongue requesting entry into his mouth. I savoured his taste wanting to make up for so much lost time.
We eventually pulled away again and Tyler looked at me with his cheeky smile and it finally looked just how I remembered it.
“What?” I asked smiling back at him.
“Can we have breakfast now hunny I am so hungry?”
I laughed taking a hold of him hand and standing up to head back down to the kitchen.
Monday, 30 November 2009
Monday, 9 November 2009
So sorry!!
Hey everyone, just wanted to say so sorry that I have not updated in so long. Been so busy getting ready for the baby arriving (baby is a little boy which we are very excited about - if you want to see the scan pictures feel free to add me on Facebook!) and our flat is for sale so that has been taking up a lot of time. Hoping it will be sold any day now and we will be able to put in an offer for a lovely house that we have seen.
Work has also been so busy and I have therefore been so tired all the time.
So please be patient for a little while longer and I promise to get a chapter posted soon.
Hope you are all well and enjoying watching the Pens, the games are always on in the middle of the night here because there is such a big time difference and there is only ever a couple of games from each team on a month but I am trying to watch as many games as I can.
Take care everyone and talk to you soon xxxx
Work has also been so busy and I have therefore been so tired all the time.
So please be patient for a little while longer and I promise to get a chapter posted soon.
Hope you are all well and enjoying watching the Pens, the games are always on in the middle of the night here because there is such a big time difference and there is only ever a couple of games from each team on a month but I am trying to watch as many games as I can.
Take care everyone and talk to you soon xxxx
Saturday, 10 October 2009
Chapter 32
Tyler appeared about half an hour after I got home letting himself in and heading straight to the kitchen with the food.
“I opted for Italian, is that ok? I went to that place that we love so much.”
I looked at him dishing out the food and getting drinks from the fridge carrying on as if everything was ok, I allowed it to pass for the moment and sat down to eat.
‘I love this guy so much, do I really want to take the chance and let him back into my life? On the other hand do I really want to let him go and risk losing him forever?’
I sat staring at him as he ate his pasta and he looked up at me when he noticed giving me that infectious smile I had missed so much.
“What?” He asks with a mouth full of food.
“Nothing” I answer trying so hard not to smile back at him.
We wash up the little amount of dishes that we have used and then head to the living room.
“Why did you not open the envelope I left you?” He asks as he picks it up.
“I couldn’t bring myself to see what was in it.”
He put it in his jacket pocket and then threw his jacket over the arm of the sofa.
“Maybe I will give you it back again if we can ever get through this.”
I sat down at the piano knowing that if I sat playing we would not have to talk, I didn’t know what else to say and I didn’t know where I want to go from here. I keep hearing Mario’s words over and over again.
‘What do I do now? Do I follow my heart as Mario suggested?’
“Can you sing something please Gill?” He asks looking hopeful after we had been sitting for a while.
“I miss hearing you sing, the last memory I have of hearing you sing is the night that I left.”
“What would you like to hear?” I answer, too tired to disagree.
“Anything will do.”
I think about it for a few moments trying to find something with a lot of meaning, something that might start to explain how I am feeling because I just can’t seem to find the right words to express it.
I eventually chose ‘What Do I Do With My Heart’ by The Eagles and the lyrics are as follows:
You don't have to say a word
I can see it in your eyes
I know what you want to say
It's so hard to say goodbye
I can hold back my tears
And try to be strong
While our love is falling apart
I know what I'll say
If you walk away
But what do I do
What do I do with my heart?
I'm not gonna say a word
I know I can't change your mind
You know where you need to go
I know I'll be left behind
I won't hold you back
I won't stand in your way
If you need to make a new start
But I still want to know
When my arms let you go
What do I do
What do I do with my heart?
Oh, girl, don't you remember?
It was not so long ago
We were making plans for two
Just me and you
Now you tell me that you've found somebody
Someone who loves you better
No one could ever love you
The way I do
Tell me you're not leaving now
Tell me you're not leaving
Tell me that you're gonna stay
Please say you'll stay with me, baby
Tell me that you love me still
Say you love me still
For this and this alone I pray
Fall down on my knees and pray
I'll do anything
Yes, I would
To save what we have
To keep you by my side
I'll love you 'til death do us part
But what do I do
What do I do
When I'm still missing you?
What do I do
What do I do with my heart?
I closed the piano lid and sat there with my eyes closed, tears beginning to fall again. After a moment I felt Tylers arms wrap around my shoulders, I took a deep breath taking in that familiar scent that I had missed so much and decided not to push him away.
“I am so so sorry Gill, please let me try to mend your broken heart.” His voice was barely above a whisper and I could tell he too was crying again.
“I am tired Tyler, lets go to bed.” I answered as I got up from the piano stool and turned to look at him, his face confused. “Stay with me tonight, I can’t promise how I will feel in the morning but I want you to hold me. I don’t think I have had a proper night sleep since I was last in your arms.”
I got ready for bed deciding to wear cosy pyjamas with little polar bears all over them and Tyler stripped down to his boxer shorts. We climbed into bed and quickly fell fast asleep without saying anything further to each other.
“I opted for Italian, is that ok? I went to that place that we love so much.”
I looked at him dishing out the food and getting drinks from the fridge carrying on as if everything was ok, I allowed it to pass for the moment and sat down to eat.
‘I love this guy so much, do I really want to take the chance and let him back into my life? On the other hand do I really want to let him go and risk losing him forever?’
I sat staring at him as he ate his pasta and he looked up at me when he noticed giving me that infectious smile I had missed so much.
“What?” He asks with a mouth full of food.
“Nothing” I answer trying so hard not to smile back at him.
We wash up the little amount of dishes that we have used and then head to the living room.
“Why did you not open the envelope I left you?” He asks as he picks it up.
“I couldn’t bring myself to see what was in it.”
He put it in his jacket pocket and then threw his jacket over the arm of the sofa.
“Maybe I will give you it back again if we can ever get through this.”
I sat down at the piano knowing that if I sat playing we would not have to talk, I didn’t know what else to say and I didn’t know where I want to go from here. I keep hearing Mario’s words over and over again.
‘What do I do now? Do I follow my heart as Mario suggested?’
“Can you sing something please Gill?” He asks looking hopeful after we had been sitting for a while.
“I miss hearing you sing, the last memory I have of hearing you sing is the night that I left.”
“What would you like to hear?” I answer, too tired to disagree.
“Anything will do.”
I think about it for a few moments trying to find something with a lot of meaning, something that might start to explain how I am feeling because I just can’t seem to find the right words to express it.
I eventually chose ‘What Do I Do With My Heart’ by The Eagles and the lyrics are as follows:
You don't have to say a word
I can see it in your eyes
I know what you want to say
It's so hard to say goodbye
I can hold back my tears
And try to be strong
While our love is falling apart
I know what I'll say
If you walk away
But what do I do
What do I do with my heart?
I'm not gonna say a word
I know I can't change your mind
You know where you need to go
I know I'll be left behind
I won't hold you back
I won't stand in your way
If you need to make a new start
But I still want to know
When my arms let you go
What do I do
What do I do with my heart?
Oh, girl, don't you remember?
It was not so long ago
We were making plans for two
Just me and you
Now you tell me that you've found somebody
Someone who loves you better
No one could ever love you
The way I do
Tell me you're not leaving now
Tell me you're not leaving
Tell me that you're gonna stay
Please say you'll stay with me, baby
Tell me that you love me still
Say you love me still
For this and this alone I pray
Fall down on my knees and pray
I'll do anything
Yes, I would
To save what we have
To keep you by my side
I'll love you 'til death do us part
But what do I do
What do I do
When I'm still missing you?
What do I do
What do I do with my heart?
I closed the piano lid and sat there with my eyes closed, tears beginning to fall again. After a moment I felt Tylers arms wrap around my shoulders, I took a deep breath taking in that familiar scent that I had missed so much and decided not to push him away.
“I am so so sorry Gill, please let me try to mend your broken heart.” His voice was barely above a whisper and I could tell he too was crying again.
“I am tired Tyler, lets go to bed.” I answered as I got up from the piano stool and turned to look at him, his face confused. “Stay with me tonight, I can’t promise how I will feel in the morning but I want you to hold me. I don’t think I have had a proper night sleep since I was last in your arms.”
I got ready for bed deciding to wear cosy pyjamas with little polar bears all over them and Tyler stripped down to his boxer shorts. We climbed into bed and quickly fell fast asleep without saying anything further to each other.
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Chapter 31
Sorry again about the wait for the chapter. I am still recovering from the flu but I am on the mend. I never figured out how to post the picture of my scan onto blogger. If you wants to see it let me know and I will see what I can figure out.
Anyway, the wait is over. Enjoy folks and thanks again for the comments and support.
...
I looked up when I heard the door open to see Tyler come in. I didn’t have the energy to tell him to go away. He said something to someone outside the room but I didn’t hear what it was and then he came over after closing the door and put his hand on my shoulder. Instinctively I pulled away from his touch.
“Don’t touch me Tyler” I growled back at him, my voice hoarse from crying, I moved further along the wall so he decided to sit down a couple of metres away from me.
“I miss you Gill.” He said softly breaking the icy silence.
I eventually turn my head to look at him, tears still flowing from my eyes.
“What do you want me to say Tyler? You broke my heart and I can’t stop feeling the pain, it just won’t go away and I want to hate you for it.” My voice was soft and calm, my mind racing a million miles an hour.
“I am sorry Gill for making you feel the way you do, if it is any conciliation I am hurting as well.” His eyes were finally full of emotion, I could see the pain, the love, and the want, so many mixed emotions that I knew he wanted to put into words.
I let out a little laugh. “You brought this on yourself Tyler, you finished with me remember and as far as I am aware I never did anything to initiate it.” I stood up and starting pacing the room. I had so many emotions running through me, I wanted to shout and scream at him, I wanted to hate him but most of all I wanted to hold him close to me and feel his strong arms around me again, to that feel safe secure feeling that always came over me when I was in his company.
“I know this is all my fault Gill, I take full responsibility for this but I want you to know how sorry I am and I want to make things right, I want you to love me again and trust me enough to let me back in your life. I want you back and I will do everything I can to make that happen.” His voice was pleading, evidently full of pain.
“Do you think I don’t love you any more?” I snapped at him, my voice getting louder. “I have never stopped loving you and have never stopped thinking about you. I miss you like crazy and I want nothing more than to hold you and tell you that everything is ok, that we can try again but it is not that easy. I can’t just forget the pain you have caused me. I can’t forgive you for it.”
I sat down on one of the large window sills looking out at the night, darkness was beginning to fall and people were starting to go home from work, the car parks busy with people desperate to get away from their working life.
“You know the one thing I hate about living in the city Tyler? I hate not being able to see the stars. I grew up in a little town on the coast and I was always going down to the beach and watching the stars. I would sit there for hours lost in my own world. It was always the one place that I could go that would allow me to forget my problems. I don’t know if you have ever been out to my out house at the bottom of my garden?” I turned to look at him and he shook his head no. His eyes are red from crying and his curly hair wild from running his hands through it.
“Well it has a glass roof so that I can relax and watch the stars, I make sure that there are no outside lights on so that you get a good view. I have only ever once seen a shooting star and I was amazed, hopefully one day my wish will come true. Do you like the stars Tyler?” I looked back at him again.
“Yeah, but I have never really seen them properly, I have always lived in the city.
“I love the snow though. It makes me feel like a child again.” His eyes were beginning to look hopefully that maybe this conversation meant that we had made a break through.
“Maybe I can show you the stars sometime.
“I too like the snow, it is beautiful to watch, very relaxing.”
We sat in silence again for what felt like an eternity but was only a few moments when there was a faint knock at the door.
“Come in” I said loudly as I turned to the door. It was Ray and Mario.
“Sorry kids” Mario started “but they are about to lock up the arena.” He always called us all kids just like Don Cherry does on Hockey Night in Canada. I sometimes think he actually does think of us all as his children. He would do anything for each and every one of us especially Sid.
“Ok, just give me 5 minutes to gather my things together, sorry if we have been disruptive.” I answered.
“Don’t worry as long as everything is ok. Let me give you a hand down to your car with your bags.” Mario continued.
The 3 guys grabbed a couple of bags each and I locked up the room behind us and followed them down to my car. Mario slowed down and started walking next to me.
“Are you ok Gill?” He asked quietly so that Tyler did not hear but loud enough for me to hold a conversation with him.
“Yeah, I am alright thanks Mario.” I answer giving him a small pat on the back so that he knows I appreciate his concern.
“I am just going to say one thing to you,” he says in his soft fatherly tone as he stops to look at me. “Follow your heart and do what is going to make you happy in the long run, don’t worry about what anyone else has to say just do what is best for you and if that means getting back together with Tyler and trusting him then that is what you need to do. Live for today as you never know what tomorrow will bring.”
I leaned in and gave him a small hug.
“Thanks Mario.”
We said nothing further until we reached the car. I unlocked it allowing the guys to put my stuff in the back.
“Thanks guys, see you all soon.”
Ray and Mario walked off leaving Tyler and I alone again.
“Can we talk some more Gill please, maybe at your house?” He asks avoiding eye contact with me.
“I don’t know, I don’t think I can take any more arguing.”
He looks up at me, his eyes saying so much as I spend a few moments just staring back at him.
“Ok, you can come up for a while but I am still not making any promises. Can you go past the take away on your way, I can’t be bothered cooking.”
I turned away without waiting for an answer and got in my car and began to drive home unsure of what to expect of the night ahead of me.
Anyway, the wait is over. Enjoy folks and thanks again for the comments and support.
...
I looked up when I heard the door open to see Tyler come in. I didn’t have the energy to tell him to go away. He said something to someone outside the room but I didn’t hear what it was and then he came over after closing the door and put his hand on my shoulder. Instinctively I pulled away from his touch.
“Don’t touch me Tyler” I growled back at him, my voice hoarse from crying, I moved further along the wall so he decided to sit down a couple of metres away from me.
“I miss you Gill.” He said softly breaking the icy silence.
I eventually turn my head to look at him, tears still flowing from my eyes.
“What do you want me to say Tyler? You broke my heart and I can’t stop feeling the pain, it just won’t go away and I want to hate you for it.” My voice was soft and calm, my mind racing a million miles an hour.
“I am sorry Gill for making you feel the way you do, if it is any conciliation I am hurting as well.” His eyes were finally full of emotion, I could see the pain, the love, and the want, so many mixed emotions that I knew he wanted to put into words.
I let out a little laugh. “You brought this on yourself Tyler, you finished with me remember and as far as I am aware I never did anything to initiate it.” I stood up and starting pacing the room. I had so many emotions running through me, I wanted to shout and scream at him, I wanted to hate him but most of all I wanted to hold him close to me and feel his strong arms around me again, to that feel safe secure feeling that always came over me when I was in his company.
“I know this is all my fault Gill, I take full responsibility for this but I want you to know how sorry I am and I want to make things right, I want you to love me again and trust me enough to let me back in your life. I want you back and I will do everything I can to make that happen.” His voice was pleading, evidently full of pain.
“Do you think I don’t love you any more?” I snapped at him, my voice getting louder. “I have never stopped loving you and have never stopped thinking about you. I miss you like crazy and I want nothing more than to hold you and tell you that everything is ok, that we can try again but it is not that easy. I can’t just forget the pain you have caused me. I can’t forgive you for it.”
I sat down on one of the large window sills looking out at the night, darkness was beginning to fall and people were starting to go home from work, the car parks busy with people desperate to get away from their working life.
“You know the one thing I hate about living in the city Tyler? I hate not being able to see the stars. I grew up in a little town on the coast and I was always going down to the beach and watching the stars. I would sit there for hours lost in my own world. It was always the one place that I could go that would allow me to forget my problems. I don’t know if you have ever been out to my out house at the bottom of my garden?” I turned to look at him and he shook his head no. His eyes are red from crying and his curly hair wild from running his hands through it.
“Well it has a glass roof so that I can relax and watch the stars, I make sure that there are no outside lights on so that you get a good view. I have only ever once seen a shooting star and I was amazed, hopefully one day my wish will come true. Do you like the stars Tyler?” I looked back at him again.
“Yeah, but I have never really seen them properly, I have always lived in the city.
“I love the snow though. It makes me feel like a child again.” His eyes were beginning to look hopefully that maybe this conversation meant that we had made a break through.
“Maybe I can show you the stars sometime.
“I too like the snow, it is beautiful to watch, very relaxing.”
We sat in silence again for what felt like an eternity but was only a few moments when there was a faint knock at the door.
“Come in” I said loudly as I turned to the door. It was Ray and Mario.
“Sorry kids” Mario started “but they are about to lock up the arena.” He always called us all kids just like Don Cherry does on Hockey Night in Canada. I sometimes think he actually does think of us all as his children. He would do anything for each and every one of us especially Sid.
“Ok, just give me 5 minutes to gather my things together, sorry if we have been disruptive.” I answered.
“Don’t worry as long as everything is ok. Let me give you a hand down to your car with your bags.” Mario continued.
The 3 guys grabbed a couple of bags each and I locked up the room behind us and followed them down to my car. Mario slowed down and started walking next to me.
“Are you ok Gill?” He asked quietly so that Tyler did not hear but loud enough for me to hold a conversation with him.
“Yeah, I am alright thanks Mario.” I answer giving him a small pat on the back so that he knows I appreciate his concern.
“I am just going to say one thing to you,” he says in his soft fatherly tone as he stops to look at me. “Follow your heart and do what is going to make you happy in the long run, don’t worry about what anyone else has to say just do what is best for you and if that means getting back together with Tyler and trusting him then that is what you need to do. Live for today as you never know what tomorrow will bring.”
I leaned in and gave him a small hug.
“Thanks Mario.”
We said nothing further until we reached the car. I unlocked it allowing the guys to put my stuff in the back.
“Thanks guys, see you all soon.”
Ray and Mario walked off leaving Tyler and I alone again.
“Can we talk some more Gill please, maybe at your house?” He asks avoiding eye contact with me.
“I don’t know, I don’t think I can take any more arguing.”
He looks up at me, his eyes saying so much as I spend a few moments just staring back at him.
“Ok, you can come up for a while but I am still not making any promises. Can you go past the take away on your way, I can’t be bothered cooking.”
I turned away without waiting for an answer and got in my car and began to drive home unsure of what to expect of the night ahead of me.
Monday, 21 September 2009
So very sorry.
So sorry that I have been rubbish with the updates, I have not been keeping very well so I have spent so much time sleeping, want to make sure I don't harm the baby. As soon as I am better I will make sure to get a couple of up dates posted.
So sorry guys and thanks for your patience.
Take care xx
So sorry guys and thanks for your patience.
Take care xx
Monday, 7 September 2009
Chapter 30
(TKs Prov)
As I stand under the hot water of the shower I think about the couple of hours that have just passed. Feeling Gill touch my skin again, seeing her look in my eyes has just enhanced the pain that has never really gone away since the minute I left her house. The pain I have felt in my heart has been excruciating, much worse than I could have ever imagined and the look in her eyes has enhanced the pain making it worse, she looked at me with hatred, with anger and I am not sure that their was any love there any more.
“Oi TK! Are you going to stand under that shower all day?” I hear Flower shout at me from the locker room breaking me from my trance.
“Na, I was just thinking.” I answer blandly switching off the shower and wrapping a towel around my waist, running my hands through my hair to try and keep the unruly curls at bay knowing that I am probably just making them worse and am in need desperate need of a hair cut.
“Will you sit down for a minute Tyler I would like to talk to you?” Flower asks me sounding very serious.
“What is this about?” I ask as I sit down opposite him on one of the benches in the middle of the locker room, he looked into my eyes as if trying to see what was going on in my mind.
“I know you probably won’t want to hear this but please listen to me…
“When you broke up with Gill we thought you must have been doing it for a reason that we did not know but the more I watch you the more I see how unhappy you are. You barely talk to us any more and you never come out with us after a game. Although your game is still good you are just not yourself any more and it worries me.
“Let me tell you a little secret. When I first got called up for the 1st team and started travelling with them Vero and I found it really difficult being apart from one and other. Growing up we were practically inseparable and then suddenly we were going for a week at least without seeing each other but you know what got me through it? The fact that I would see her smiling face when I got back home, that her bright eyes would only see me and her arms would hold me like I was the most important person in the world. I knew that I had that to look forward too and it held me together. She is my world and I would rather deal with the pain of missing her for a week than finishing with her and never feeling her touch again, never seeing her look in my eyes again, maybe never seeing her at all ever again, that thought for me is just to much to handle.
“Gill loves you Tyler and she has been feeling just as bad as you while you have been apart, probably feeling even worse than you do. Vero has not seen her in over a month and is really worried about her. Please at least talk to her and see if you can be civil to each other. We miss you both.
“I saw the way you looked at her at kung fu this afternoon, the emotion was starting to appear in your eyes again and I know that you felt something when you were working with her. Don’t be afraid of it, embrace the feelings and follow your heart.
“You are a very good friend of mine Tyler and I am worried about you. I hope you can find away to sort through this, please come and talk to me if you need someone and don’t shut us all out, I know Kris and Jordan miss you a lot and are very worried about you too.”
With that said he got up and put his hand on my shoulder, gave it a little squeeze and left the room without saying anything further. I sat there for a few moments longer with my head in my hands thinking about what he had said. His relationship with Vero is so strong and it is hard to believe they have ever had troubles, they are so happy together and a complete inspiration.
I eventually decided that I needed to talk to Gill.
I finished drying myself and got changed into jeans and a top instead of my usual training clothes, heading out to my car I noticed Staalzy and some others were still in the gym but instead of stopping and talking to them like I knew I should I headed to my car to drive to Gills.
As I reached my car I noticed hers was still parked next to mine. Hmm, I wonder where she is. I phoned over to her office to see if she had gone in to do some work. I rang her direct dial but got through to Lorna.
“Good afternoon, Robertson Publishing how can I help?” She answers in her usual bubbly voice.
“Hi Lorna its Tyler, is Gill in?”
“No, is she not over with you guys? It is good to hear your voice again Tyler.”
“Thanks Lorna, it is nice to hear yours too. We will have to try and meet up soon. She was here but we finished up about 40 minutes ago but her car is still out front. I will call her on her cell. Thanks Lorna, take care.”
I hung up and called her cell getting straight to voicemail, I left a quick message asking her to call me.
I went back into the Melon and tried the door handle to the training room where we had our kung fu class and it was locked but I swear I could hear something from inside so I headed down to Ray Shero’s office.
“Ray, have you seen Gill this afternoon?” I ask getting more worried by the minute.
“No, not since she finished up the kung fu class, you haven’t gone and upset her again have you?” He asks trying to lighten the mood.
“Not that I am aware of. Do you have the keys for the training room?”
“Gill still has them, she must have forgotten to give me them back.”
“I think she is still here, her car is still outside and she is not in her office, I am really worried Ray. Can you sign out the spare keys for me? I think she may have locked herself in the training room.”
Ray got the spare keys from reception for me and we went up to the training room just as Jordan came out of the gym.
I unlocked to the door to see Gill curled up in a ball rocking back and forward, tears spilling from her eyes.
“Thanks guys, I will take it from here.” I say to them both as I throw the keys at Jordan.
“Gill…” I reach down to her putting my hand on her shoulder.
As I stand under the hot water of the shower I think about the couple of hours that have just passed. Feeling Gill touch my skin again, seeing her look in my eyes has just enhanced the pain that has never really gone away since the minute I left her house. The pain I have felt in my heart has been excruciating, much worse than I could have ever imagined and the look in her eyes has enhanced the pain making it worse, she looked at me with hatred, with anger and I am not sure that their was any love there any more.
“Oi TK! Are you going to stand under that shower all day?” I hear Flower shout at me from the locker room breaking me from my trance.
“Na, I was just thinking.” I answer blandly switching off the shower and wrapping a towel around my waist, running my hands through my hair to try and keep the unruly curls at bay knowing that I am probably just making them worse and am in need desperate need of a hair cut.
“Will you sit down for a minute Tyler I would like to talk to you?” Flower asks me sounding very serious.
“What is this about?” I ask as I sit down opposite him on one of the benches in the middle of the locker room, he looked into my eyes as if trying to see what was going on in my mind.
“I know you probably won’t want to hear this but please listen to me…
“When you broke up with Gill we thought you must have been doing it for a reason that we did not know but the more I watch you the more I see how unhappy you are. You barely talk to us any more and you never come out with us after a game. Although your game is still good you are just not yourself any more and it worries me.
“Let me tell you a little secret. When I first got called up for the 1st team and started travelling with them Vero and I found it really difficult being apart from one and other. Growing up we were practically inseparable and then suddenly we were going for a week at least without seeing each other but you know what got me through it? The fact that I would see her smiling face when I got back home, that her bright eyes would only see me and her arms would hold me like I was the most important person in the world. I knew that I had that to look forward too and it held me together. She is my world and I would rather deal with the pain of missing her for a week than finishing with her and never feeling her touch again, never seeing her look in my eyes again, maybe never seeing her at all ever again, that thought for me is just to much to handle.
“Gill loves you Tyler and she has been feeling just as bad as you while you have been apart, probably feeling even worse than you do. Vero has not seen her in over a month and is really worried about her. Please at least talk to her and see if you can be civil to each other. We miss you both.
“I saw the way you looked at her at kung fu this afternoon, the emotion was starting to appear in your eyes again and I know that you felt something when you were working with her. Don’t be afraid of it, embrace the feelings and follow your heart.
“You are a very good friend of mine Tyler and I am worried about you. I hope you can find away to sort through this, please come and talk to me if you need someone and don’t shut us all out, I know Kris and Jordan miss you a lot and are very worried about you too.”
With that said he got up and put his hand on my shoulder, gave it a little squeeze and left the room without saying anything further. I sat there for a few moments longer with my head in my hands thinking about what he had said. His relationship with Vero is so strong and it is hard to believe they have ever had troubles, they are so happy together and a complete inspiration.
I eventually decided that I needed to talk to Gill.
I finished drying myself and got changed into jeans and a top instead of my usual training clothes, heading out to my car I noticed Staalzy and some others were still in the gym but instead of stopping and talking to them like I knew I should I headed to my car to drive to Gills.
As I reached my car I noticed hers was still parked next to mine. Hmm, I wonder where she is. I phoned over to her office to see if she had gone in to do some work. I rang her direct dial but got through to Lorna.
“Good afternoon, Robertson Publishing how can I help?” She answers in her usual bubbly voice.
“Hi Lorna its Tyler, is Gill in?”
“No, is she not over with you guys? It is good to hear your voice again Tyler.”
“Thanks Lorna, it is nice to hear yours too. We will have to try and meet up soon. She was here but we finished up about 40 minutes ago but her car is still out front. I will call her on her cell. Thanks Lorna, take care.”
I hung up and called her cell getting straight to voicemail, I left a quick message asking her to call me.
I went back into the Melon and tried the door handle to the training room where we had our kung fu class and it was locked but I swear I could hear something from inside so I headed down to Ray Shero’s office.
“Ray, have you seen Gill this afternoon?” I ask getting more worried by the minute.
“No, not since she finished up the kung fu class, you haven’t gone and upset her again have you?” He asks trying to lighten the mood.
“Not that I am aware of. Do you have the keys for the training room?”
“Gill still has them, she must have forgotten to give me them back.”
“I think she is still here, her car is still outside and she is not in her office, I am really worried Ray. Can you sign out the spare keys for me? I think she may have locked herself in the training room.”
Ray got the spare keys from reception for me and we went up to the training room just as Jordan came out of the gym.
I unlocked to the door to see Gill curled up in a ball rocking back and forward, tears spilling from her eyes.
“Thanks guys, I will take it from here.” I say to them both as I throw the keys at Jordan.
“Gill…” I reach down to her putting my hand on her shoulder.
Sunday, 30 August 2009
News.
Hi all.
Just a quick note to say thanks for continuing to read my story I hope you are all still enjoying it. I will get a new chapter posted in a few days. We were on holiday last week and have been pretty busy since we got back, still off work for another week so will get a chapter posted soon,
On another note I have some news, I am 12 weeks pregnant and very very happy about it.
Thanks again for your continued support, I much appreciate all the comments.
Take care all xx
Just a quick note to say thanks for continuing to read my story I hope you are all still enjoying it. I will get a new chapter posted in a few days. We were on holiday last week and have been pretty busy since we got back, still off work for another week so will get a chapter posted soon,
On another note I have some news, I am 12 weeks pregnant and very very happy about it.
Thanks again for your continued support, I much appreciate all the comments.
Take care all xx
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