Chapter 26

Thanks for all your comments, just a short chapter and I will try and post in a few days time.

(TKs prov)

‘After I closed the door to Gills house I sat down on the doorstep, hot tears ran down my face and I heard her start to play the piano, she sang a song that I did not know and the lyrics made me feel like such an idiot. She has such a beautiful singing voice – she is like an angel. Before I met Gill I never really paid any attention to the words of a song but she does, she really listens to them and remembers songs that have a lot of meaning and she has got me doing the same thing.

Maybe I am being selfish finishing with her but it hurt so much being away from her and I missed her more than I could ever explain, it is better to do it now rather than having her hate me in the long run for never being there for her.

Once she finished the song I heard her sobbing, in fact she was doing more than sobbing, she was crying uncontrollably and I wanted to go back in and tell her it was ok but I cant, I need to walk away.

I will text Jordan and see if he will go round and make sure she is ok, I know I can trust him with her, they have built up a good friendship over the last couple of months.

I got up and sat in my car, the hot tears still rolling down my face, burning my cheeks before they fall to my lips leaving the taste of salt lingering – am I really making the right choice?

As drove home I just felt empty, like everything good in my life was gone and it was my fault entirely. I don’t want to live my life without Gill, god I was even thinking about the day we get married and have children but the way I felt in Sweden was horrible, I cant even describe the feeling properly but I know I never want to feel it again and I never want Gill to feel it either. I know that if their were children I would feel even worse. It has to be this way, this is for the best.

Who am I trying to convince, I am such an idiot. I have just thrown away the best thing that has ever happened to me and I have no way of getting it back...’